Be Confident – Be You: Three Tips to Improve Self-Confidence

Self-confidence plays a vital role in how we experience the world. It affects the way we communicate, pursue goals, build relationships, and overcome challenges. Yet, for many people, confidence doesn’t come naturally. It’s not something you either have or don’t—it’s something that can be built, nurtured, and strengthened over time.

If you’ve ever doubted your worth, second-guessed your decisions, or felt like you didn’t measure up, know this: you are not alone. Many of us have internalized messages from past experiences, whether from childhood, toxic relationships, or societal pressures that have chipped away at our confidence. In some cases, those experiences may include trauma or abuse. If that resonates with you, it’s important to recognize that healing is not only possible, but well within reach. Working with a therapist or mental health professional can offer valuable support and guidance on that journey. Rebuilding confidence after trauma takes time, but the effort you put in can change your life.

You can believe in yourself again. You can learn to love who you are. And it starts with small steps. Here are three practical, powerful ways to begin improving your self-confidence today:

1) Build Positive Relationships

The people around you have a significant impact on how you feel about yourself. If you’re surrounded by constant criticism, negativity, or comparison, it’s easy to internalize those messages. That’s why it’s essential to intentionally cultivate relationships that uplift and support you.

Seek out people who genuinely celebrate your successes, encourage your growth, and help you feel seen and heard. These are the people who remind you of your strengths, not your shortcomings. It’s not about having a large circle—it’s about having the right people in your circle.

And don’t forget to examine the relationship you have with yourself. Practice self-talk that’s kind, realistic, and compassionate. Be your own cheerleader when others aren’t around. Over time, you’ll find that confidence becomes easier to maintain when your environment supports your growth.

Takeaway: Spend time with people who leave you feeling energized, not drained. You deserve to walk away from social interactions feeling more confident—not less.

2) Improve Your Routine

Confidence is not just a mindset—it’s also a habit. The way you spend your time can either reinforce your self-worth or quietly diminish it. Creating a daily or weekly routine that includes activities you enjoy, feel good at, or find meaningful can dramatically shift the way you view yourself.

What lights you up? What helps you feel capable, attractive, or energized? Maybe it’s cooking nutritious meals, breaking a sweat in the gym, writing, painting, spending time in nature, or laughing with friends. Whatever it is—prioritize it. These seemingly small actions signal to your brain (and your heart) that you are worth caring for.

Structure and intentional habits can also give you a sense of control and momentum, especially when life feels uncertain. Confidence grows when we consistently show up for ourselves—even in little ways.

Takeaway: Make space in your life for the things that make you feel alive, capable, and connected. Your confidence thrives when your routine reflects your values.

3) Prove It to Yourself

One of the most empowering ways to build confidence is by challenging yourself. And no—it doesn’t have to be something huge like giving a TED talk or running a marathon (unless that’s your thing!). Even small, bite-sized goals outside your comfort zone can help shift the narrative in your mind from “I can’t” to “Maybe I can” to “Wow—I actually did that.”

Try setting a personal goal that stretches you just a little. It could be speaking up in a meeting, applying for a job you’re not 100% sure you’re qualified for, or simply starting a conversation with someone new. With each goal you accomplish, no matter how small, you’re building evidence that you’re strong, capable, and resilient.

Over time, this creates a powerful internal track record. You begin to trust yourself. And when you trust yourself, confidence follows.

Takeaway: Challenge yourself with realistic goals that gently push your limits. Every small win is a reminder that you’re more capable than you think.

Final Thoughts

Confidence isn’t about being perfect, loud, or always in control. It’s about trusting who you are, embracing your imperfections, and knowing that you are enough—just as you are.

Whether you’re just beginning your journey toward greater self-confidence or continuing to grow in it, remember: the process takes time, and that’s okay. Keep showing up for yourself, step by step. Be kind to yourself. Surround yourself with love. And keep proving—again and again—that you are worthy, valuable, and full of potential.

Be confident. Be you.

- Julie "Brain Lady" Anderson